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Heard a great song tonight in spin class. Check out the full lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/jessiej/masterpiece.html

The part that resonated the most with me:
I still fall on my face sometimes
And I can't colour inside the lines
'Cause I'm perfectly incomplete
I'm still working on my masterpiece
And I, I wanna hang with the greats
Got a way to go, but it's worth the wait
No, you haven't seen the best of me
I'm still working on my masterpiece

How do you view me? What do you think of me? How do I fit into your life? Do your friends even know I exist?

These are questions that I have long since thought were important. It was a gauge for how the other person felt about me and in turn, I'd either put forth effort or not put forth effort based on those answers.

It makes logical sense, that someone would want to hammer nails and build a house if and only if the other person needed a house, otherwise it would be misplaced effort.

But who's to say that I can't build the house and then live in it myself... on my own, if that person decides they don't want a house (that I built).

New years resolutions... it's not something I typically do.

This year, I have a couple that I'm pretty excited about.

One of the resolutions is to free myself from confusion, temptation, and getting wrapped up into old habits. All of this will allow a trust bubble for that special person who I'll marry. I've cut off communication with all people I've dated and kissed. This includes Facebook, twitter and Instagram connections. I usually have a problem loosing friends, but I feel so empowered by this and it feels right. I want things to be black and white... simple.

I'm comfortable in my own skin enough to hold onto myself if I am without friends. I'm comfortable being single on my own (I was for most of December).

Why doesn't my ios wordpress app work with xanga anymore?

Been awhile since I've written here. I'm going through some tough shit right now. Hard to get out the door. Don't want to interact with anyone because my emotions are drained and my strength is gone.

Susceptible and vulnerable are not the world I am comfortable with.

I hope the sun comes out and my mind can get me out the door one more time today, for a run.

I'm learning way too much about myself in a short timeframe and taking steps to stop the vicious cycles I was in is taking all my strength.

I'm grateful for SF and my friends.

I appreciate that for the first time in my life, I'm happy because of me and not because of who I'm with.

After my therapy session, in which she was very supportive (a cheerleader), her closing remark was, “The world is your oyster” and my thought was, “awesome! Everybody’s having sex!”

I crack myself up!

Walking out the door is the hardest part for me... in any situation.

Be it, going to the store or out for a run or leaving a relationship.

First and foremost, I don't want to hurt you. I want to see you happy and loved and enjoying the wonderful thing you've been blessed with (a life).

What I want for me is to also have those same joys. However, my idea of those things is completely different than yours.

Yes, I want to spread my wings and fly. I want to explore people, places and things, especially since I'm young. Ideally I'd like to be able to do that with have one stable person in my life, my partner.