When people talk to me on the bus or in a restaurant or even at work, I become rigid and suspicious, and thus short in my responses to try to get them to stop talking to me. This I've come to find is not typical, as my gal pal will hold lengthy conversations with strangers.
#4(below) reminds me that I have known about this 'push' and 'pull' inside me toward the guy I'm dating. Being aware of this, allowed me to tell the guy I was dating upfront that this happened and that he should just ride the wave for a few days. I knew that there would be times that I would push away from him, but in a few days I would be close/connected to him again. This helped the relationship and allowed me to at least express when this was happening. I need to take it to the next level and express why this is happening. From #4, it seems its from suspicion.
~~~~~
Excerpts from Enneagram Institute about Enneagram sixes:
1. They want to be trusted and to trust others, yet constantly test others to allay their own suspicions.
2. As soon as problems or areas of uncertainty arise, however, they are quickly thrown into a storm of confusion and emotional reactions. (For this reason, many Sixes mistake themselves for Fours.) Their self-doubt and suspiciousness arise and Sixes are right back into their ambivalence and unsteadiness.
3. Particularly, Sixes are compelled to "check in" with their allies and supporters to make sure that they are still "on the team." Average Sixes often do not know how others feel toward them: they want people to like them, but often doubt that they do. As a result, they test others to discover the attitudes of others about them, constantly looking for evidence of approval or disapproval. And if average Sixes deteriorate into neurosis, they become so suspicious of others that they become paranoid, anxiety ridden, and so insecure that they cannot function.
4. For example, they may be affectionate toward someone; then, fearing that they will be taken advantage of or abandoned, they become suspicious of the very person who has just been the object of their warmth. But, becoming anxious about their suspicions, they seek reassurance that the relationship is still all right. As soon as they receive reassurance from the other, Sixes wonder if they have not been too ingratiating, so they overcompensate by becoming defensive, acting as if they did not need the other person. And on it goes. If you have difficulty understanding someone who is a mass of contradictions, you are probably dealing with a Six.
5. Sixes who are more counterphobic are much more likely to question, or even rebel against authorities. They are quicker to confront others and are more prone to suspiciousness than phobic Sixes. They are more determined to be independent and resist turning to others for support. In this respect, counterphobic Sixes can resemble Eights. They try to repress their anxiety through action, and in the average Levels, can react strongly and defensively if questioned. They want to know where others stand and may aggressively provoke a response from them to find out. Counterphobic Sixes are fearful that others will try to trick them or take advantage of them. When conflicts arise, they can be highly confrontational and even belligerent. Nevertheless, beneath their bluster, they are just as fearful and anxious as phobic Sixes, but their actions are a reaction to the anxiety rather than a direct expression of it.
